Counting the Cost in Love and Relationships: A Biblical Perspective

Love is one of the most profound and beautiful gifts given by God. However, the Bible warns against rushing into love, commitment, or covenant relationships without counting the cost and understanding the lifelong responsibility and sacrifice they require. This principle is seen in Song of Solomon 2:7, where the bride cautions against awakening love before its proper time. While this verse speaks of romantic love, its wisdom applies to marriage, relationships, and most importantly, our commitment to God.

The Weight of Love and Commitment

In a culture that often glorifies love based on emotions, attraction, and fleeting feelings, God’s design for love is rooted in commitment, responsibility, and endurance.

1. Counting the Cost in Marriage

Marriage is not just an emotional connection; it is a lifelong covenant before God (Malachi 2:14-16). Jesus affirmed this in Matthew 19:6, saying, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Before entering into marriage, one must consider:

• Spiritual Readiness – Am I prepared to love and lead (if a husband) or submit and support (if a wife) as Scripture commands? (Ephesians 5:22-33)
• Shared Faith and Values – Are we both walking in obedience to God? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
• Endurance Through Trials – Am I ready to stay committed in sickness, hardships, and challenges? (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5)
• Godly Counsel – Have I sought wisdom from Scripture and godly advisors? (Proverbs 11:14)

When love is awakened too soon- without spiritual maturity, wisdom, and a readiness for covenant responsibility – it often leads to heartache. Love should not be rushed, but prepared for with patience and discernment.

2. Counting the Cost in Discipleship

Jesus used the same principle of counting the cost when teaching about discipleship:

“For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?” (Luke 14:28)

Just as marriage requires a lifelong commitment, following Christ demands full devotion and endurance. Many begin their walk with Christ without understanding the depth of obedience and sacrifice required. True discipleship means:

• Putting Christ First – Above family, possessions, and personal desires (Luke 14:26).
• Carrying the Cross – Willingness to suffer for Christ’s sake (Luke 14:27).
• Persevering in Faithfulness – Remaining steadfast even when trials arise (Revelation 2:10).

A relationship with Christ is not based on emotions alone, but on a deliberate choice to obey and follow Him daily (John 14:15).

3. Counting the Cost in Obedience to the Gospel

The greatest love story is God’s love for mankind, demonstrated through Jesus Christ:

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

Christ’s love was not merely emotional- it was a sacrificial, obedient love that led Him to give His life so that we could be saved. Because of His love, we are called to respond in obedience to the gospel:

• Hearing the Word – Faith comes by hearing (Romans 10:17).
• Believing in Christ – Trusting in Jesus as the Son of God (John 8:24).
• Repenting of Sin – Turning away from sin and toward God (Acts 17:30).
• Confessing Jesus as Lord – Acknowledging Him before others (Romans 10:9-10).
• Being Baptized into Christ – For the remission of sins (Acts 2:38; Mark 16:16).
• Living Faithfully – Continuing in obedience and holiness (Revelation 2:10).

Many desire the blessings of Christ’s love without counting the cost of obedience. Yet Jesus said:

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21)

True love for Christ is not just professed – it is demonstrated through action (John 14:15). Just as one should not enter marriage lightly, one should not enter into a commitment with God without full surrender to His will.

Final Application: The Greatest Love and Commitment

Love, whether in marriage or in faith, requires more than feeling – it requires obedience, sacrifice, and perseverance. Song of Solomon 2:7 reminds us not to rush into commitments without proper preparation.

• In earthly love, we must count the cost before making a lifetime vow.
• In discipleship, we must understand that following Christ is a lifelong commitment.
• In salvation, we must obey the gospel fully, not just emotionally, but with full surrender to God’s commands.

The greatest love story is God’s invitation for us to be united with Him through Christ. Will you count the cost and commit fully to obedience to the gospel?

Agape

Spencer