7 topics every couple should talk about before getting MARRIED.
MONEY. Prov 22:7; Eph 4:28.
Money is the #1 reason given for divorce.
AUTHORITY in the home & in life. Eph 5:23; 1Tim 2:12-15
Child rearing. Eph 6:1-4;
Deu 6:7,20; Prov 13:24
1Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
RELIGION. Eph 4:4; 1:22-23; 1Cor 1:10
1Cor 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
2Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
RELATIONS & RELATIONSHIPS.
Intimacy 1Cor 7:1-4.
Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Friends. 1Cor 5:6; Gal 5:9.
Jas 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
IN-LAWS. Mat 19:5-6.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
EXPECTATIONS of each other. Goals. Rev 21:1-8; Phil 3:14.
Most sorrows come from UNSPOKEN, UNREALIZED, or UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
DISTRACTIONS.Directions. Mark 4:19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.
Spencer is an evangelist for the church of Christ on Franklin and Juniper in Borger Texas.
For several years it has been my custom to carry my bible into the public and to read privately, but openly. Many folks will comment, or be complimentary. Many more will walk on by. A few will stop to talk about their faith.
This article is a blending of several of those conversations. These two examples are representative of almost all of them. Most of these folks have the identical objections to the Bible. The objections are so common that I’ve actually made a list of the top 10 most common ones along with scriptural answers.
I have not raised my voice, become angry (Jas 1:20), and have avoided any rudeness on my part. I wish it could be said of the other part. Some have been very pleasant and have resulted in a few conversions.
Person A: You don’t have to be baptized to be saved? You just need to ask Jesus into your heart.
Person B: So, you believe this version of Mark 16:16? “He that believeth and is (NOT) baptized shall be saved.”
Person A: My grandma was a wonderful woman. She never went to church, never had religion, but she was so kind to all.
Person B: So, you believe this version of Mark 16:16? “He that believeth (NOT) and is (NOT) baptized shall be saved.” Are you suggesting a works-based salvation?
Person A: I have a friend whose baby was baptized (sprinkled).
Person B: So, they believe this version of Mark 16:16? “He that believeth (NOT) and is baptized (sprinkled) shall be saved.” Babies are incapable of faith, so they’re safe according to Jesus (Mark 10:13-15).
Person A: I have heard that there’s only heaven and not eternal hell.
Person B: So, you believe this version of Mark 16:16? “He that believeth and is baptized shall (NOT) be saved.” Jesus said, “And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.” (Matt 25:46). Jesus uses the same word (aiōnion) to describe both. Jesus said, “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.” It’s so simple, let’s just do what Jesus said.
Person A: you’re going to hell if you believe baptism saves you.
Person B: “The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ:” (1Pet 3:21)
Person A: what about the thief on the cross? Ha! Gotcha.
Person B: The thief received his inheritance before the testator died. (Think about how WILLS work). Now that the Testator (Jesus) has died (and rose again to heaven), we are bound to follow His will. “For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator. [17] For a testament is of force after men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth.” (Heb 9:16-17)
Person A: (screaming) YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BAPTIZED TO BE SAVED!!!!!
Person B: I see that you’re upset. I’ll not talk to you about it anymore. (Matt 15:14)
Person A: Satan quoted scripture too.
Person B: have a nice day.
“That’s just your opinion”
(Based on an actual conversation)
Person B is handing out religious tracks at the fair.
Person A: (using person B’s personal pocket Bible they used to show scripture) the Bible says; “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.” (Mark 16:16)
Person B: That’s just your opinion.
Person A: wait, what? I just read the scripture directly.
Person B: That’s just your interpretation.
Person A: I didn’t interpret nor did I comment. I just quoted the passage. We could read the whole chapter (Bible) and it wouldn’t change it.
Person B: You’re just a legalist.
Person A: How’s that? I’m reading the words of Jesus. Are you saying Jesus is a legalist too?
Person B: We’re saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone.
Person A: Are you interested in reading the only passage in all of the Bible that says “by faith alone?”
Person B: (closes their pocket New Testament & places it in back pocket) “nope.”
Person A: I’m sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.
Person B: ☹
Agape,
Spencer is an evangelist for the church of Christ at Franklin & Juniper in Borger Texas.
After reading this passage, Let’s Imagine this conversation…
PersonA: Walking into the assembly carrying a lamb, a man asks, “can I bring a lamb to worship and sacrifice it to the Lord? David did it.”
PersonB: No. That is part of the OT system. Jesus is the Lamb of God and it’s His blood that takes away sin (Heb 10:1-12). “Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world” (John 1:29).
PersonA: Walking into the assembly carrying a burning lamp of incense, a man asks, “can I burn incense of rams in the worship today? David did it.”
PersonB: No, that is not authorized in the New Testament. Jesus is the sweet-smelling savor. “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour” (Eph 5:2).
PersonA: Walking into the assembly carrying a guitar, or some other mechanical instrument, a man asks, “can I bring this into the assembly to worship using my God given talent to play an instrument? David did it.”
PersonB: YES! David did, so we can too! Come on in!!
Do you see the ridiculousness of the above conversation? Let’s imagine an alternative ending to this conversation.
PersonA: Walking into the assembly carrying a guitar, or some other mechanical instrument, a man asks, “can I bring this into the assembly to worship using my God given talent to play an instrument? David did it.”
Person B: Hold on a moment. Just because David did something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s authorized for us in the New Testament. As I’ve shown at other times, we need to look at the teachings and guidelines given in the New Testament for worship practices. Regarding music in the worship, we are given specific instructions.
“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord” (Eph 5:19).
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord” (Col 3:16). Note the specifics of the command which eliminates all other items. Sing, Speak, Teaching, Admonishing, Melody & Grace in your hearts; instruments can do none of that.
Person A: But if David did it, shouldn’t it be acceptable for us to do the same? After all, he was a man after God’s own heart.
Person B: While David was a significant figure in the Old Testament and had commands for worship in his age, the New Testament provides specific instructions and teachings for believers. It’s important to follow those guidelines rather than solely relying on David’s actions.
Person A: I see your point. So, if the New Testament hasn’t commanded bringing a lamb, burning incense, nor instruments, God has not authorized those practices in our worship. But there’s no command not to have it.
Person B: That’s correct, and we don’t need one. We should seek to worship in spirit and truth according to the teachings given in the New Testament. When God specifies what He wants, it cancels all other possibilities. We have no need of a passage to condemn it. The specific command automatically eliminates any additions.
Person A: That makes sense. We should prioritize aligning our worship practices with the teachings of the New Testament rather than simply imitating the actions of individuals from the Old Testament.
Person B: Exactly. It’s essential to have a solid foundation in the New Testament and understand the principles it teaches to ensure our worship is pleasing to God and in line with His will. “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Gal 1:10).
Person A: I appreciate your insight. I’ll take the time to study the New Testament further and seek a thus saith the Lord to ensure our worship practices are in accordance with God’s Word.
Person B: That’s a wise approach. Let’s strive to worship in a way that honors God and reflects the truths revealed in the New Testament. Jesus says, “And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” And Paul wrote by the command of the Lord, “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Col 3:17).
“But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.” (1Sam 13:14)
After King Saul’s first mistake, the tearing of the kingdom away from him had begun.
We need to learn the lessons from Saul’s mistakes so that we will avoid having the kingdom of Christ torn from us.
“And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen”
(Rev 1:6; cf. 1Pet 2:9).
While Saul started out strong, the 4 mistakes in this article describe why the kingdom was torn from him so dramatically. Saul made other errors after these, but these are the reasons given by Samuel for the kingdom being given to David.
SACRIFICING without AUTHORITY: “And he tarried seven days, according to the set time that Samuel had appointed: but Samuel came not to Gilgal; and the people were scattered from him. And Saul said, Bring hither a burnt offering to me, and peace offerings. And he offered the burnt offering. And it came to pass, that as soon as he had made an end of offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came; and Saul went out to meet him, that he might salute him” (1Sam 13:8-10).
One of the key mistakes of King Saul, as seen in 1 Samuel 13, was his impatience and failure to wait for the prophet Samuel before offering a burnt sacrifice. Saul allowed fear and pressure from his army to push him into taking matters into his own hands, disregarding the authority of God’s chosen servant. This act revealed Saul’s lack of trust in God’s timing and his failure to follow divine instructions.
ARROGANCE and PRESUMPTION: “And Samuel came to Saul: and Saul said unto him, Blessed be thou of the LORD: I have performed the commandment of the LORD. And Samuel said, What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear? And Saul said, They have brought them from the Amalekites: for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God; and the rest we have utterly destroyed” (1Sam 15:13-15).
In 1 Samuel 15, we witness another critical mistake of Saul: his arrogance and presumption in disobeying God’s explicit command. God commanded Saul to completely destroy the Amalekites and everything that belonged to them. However, Saul decided to spare King Agag and some of the best livestock. Saul’s presumptuous act displayed his prideful attitude, thinking that his own judgment and desires were superior to God’s commandments.
UNWILLINGNESS to Accept Responsibility: “And Samuel said, What hast thou done? And Saul said, Because I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered themselves together at Michmash; Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the LORD: I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering. And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever” (1Sam 13:11-13).
Saul’s inability to take responsibility for his actions was evident in his response when confronted by Samuel. Instead of acknowledging his mistake and seeking repentance, Saul shifted blame onto others, making excuses for his disobedience. He attempted to justify his actions rather than humbly admitting his wrongdoing. This lack of accountability demonstrated a failure in Saul’s character as a leader.
LACK OF OBEDIENCE and Submission: “And Saul said unto Samuel, Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the LORD, and have gone the way which the LORD sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God in Gilgal. And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king” (1Sam 15:20-23).
Overall, Saul’s mistakes can be summarized by his consistent failure to obey and submit to God’s authority. Whether it was sacrificing without Samuel’s presence, sparing King Agag, or not fully carrying out God’s command, Saul demonstrated a pattern of rebellion and disobedience. His lack of reverence for God’s instructions ultimately led to his downfall and the loss of his kingship.
In summary, Saul’s mistakes were:
Sacrificing without Authority,
Arrogance and Presumption,
Unwillingness to Accept Responsibility, and
Lack of Obedience and Submission.
These lessons from Saul’s life serve as a reminder for us to humbly follow God’s commands, trust in His timing, and accept responsibility for our actions as we strive to be obedient servants.
Hebrews 12:12-15 provides a great formula for developing Endurance (GRIT).
Heb 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands that hang down, and the palsied knees;
Get Busy Working. cf. Eph 4:28
13 and make straight paths for your feet, that that which is lame be not turned out of the way, but rather be healed.
Read, Apply Psalm 119:105; Prov 6:23
14 Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man shall see the Lord:
Increase in Love. 1Thess 3:1-12; 1Tim 2:1-8
15 looking carefully lest there be any man that falleth short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby the many be defiled;
Test all things. 1Thess 5:21
Along with it the writer provides a warner for lacking endurance.
in Matt 22:15-46 The Pharisees, Sadducees, and lawyers tried to Test & Trap Jesus with some difficult questions, but instead they became MAD.
They MARVELLED. Matt 22:15-22
Mt 22:15 Then went the Pharisees, and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk. 16 And they sent out unto him their disciples with the Herodians, saying, Master, we know that thou art true, and teachest the way of God in truth, neither carest thou for any man: for thou regardest not the person of men. 17 Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not? 18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites? 19 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny. 20 And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription? 21 They say unto him, Caesar’s. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s. 22 When they had heard these words, they MARVELLED, and left him, and went their way.
They were ASTONISHED. 33
Mt 22:23 The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that there is no resurrection, and asked him, 24 Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. 25 Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother: 26 Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh. 27 And last of all the woman died also. 28 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. 31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, 32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living. 33 And when the multitude heard this, they were ASTONISHED at his doctrine.
They DARED not ask any more questions. 46
Mt 22:34 But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together. 35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, 36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. 41 While the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them, 42 Saying, What think ye of Christ? whose son is he? They say unto him, The Son of David. 43 He saith unto them, How then doth David in spirit call him Lord, saying, 44 The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstool? 45 If David then call him Lord, how is he his son? 46 And no man was able to answer him a word, neither DARED any man from that day forth ask him any more questions.
“Which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ.” (Col 2:17)
Jesus the Christ, is the main point of the bible which was in the mind of God before the foundation of the world. “Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you” (1Pet 1:20).
This means that the things written before in the Old Testament point to the things in the New Testament. This concept gives us better understanding of what Paul wrote in Rom 15:4, “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”
While we cannot use the commands of the OT for doctrine today, we can look into the OT for the message of Christ. These messages are contained in Types and Shadows. “For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect” (Heb 10:1).
Types and shadows are Old Testament people, events, or ceremony the foreshadow the coming Messiah and His church. We often use the terms “Type” and “Antitype. For some this can be confusing. The “TYPE” is the shadow of the real thing. The “ANTITYPE” is the real thing.
EVENTS, like the Flood, the Plagues of Egypt, the Passover, the Brazen Serpent, Crossing the Jordan, Cities of Refuge.
CEREMONIES, like the Offerings, Ceremonial Cleansing, Feasts, Year of Jubilee, Day of Atonement. To this could be added STRUCTURES, like the Ark, the Tabernacle, the Temple, and the furnishings in the temple. We would also include COLORS & NUMBERS.
Another way to describe these 3 types is as Historical, Legal, and Prophetic types.
The purpose of the SHADOWS.
The first purpose of the SHADOWS was to give a picture and outline representing something in the future. Especially the Scheme of Redemption. Such were the point of the SACRIFICES from patriarchal to Jewish age. (Heb 9, 10:18)
Another purpose of the type or shadow was as proof and as a demonstration of the Divine origin of the antitype. “And Moses verily was faithful in all his house, as a servant, for a testimony of those things which were to be spoken after; But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end” (Heb 3:5-6).
Here’s what is of powerful interest to us. The TYPES & SHADOWS must have originated by ONE who perfectly understood the antitype toward which the type or shadow pointed. God alone understood them from before, and could author them perfectly.
The Patriarchs and the Jews engaging in the events, setting up and writing on the types, could not understand them. Hence, they are not the originators of them. The Bible is all of God!!! This is another evidence for the validity of the Bible as being the Inspired Word of God.
The System of Sacrifices serve as a Shadow for the sacrifice of Christ.
“Which was a figure for the time then present, in which were offered both gifts and sacrifices, that could not make him that did the service perfect, as pertaining to the conscience; Which stood only in meats and drinks, and divers washings, and carnal ordinances, imposed on them until the time of reformation. But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (Heb 9:9-14)
If you find reading the Old Testament boring, or you are unable to see its relevance, looking for the Types & Shadows may help you develop an excitement to read those things written before. The Old Testament is about Jesus. “Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me” (John 5:39).
“Men and brethren, children of the stock of Abraham, and whosoever among you feareth God, to you is the word of this salvation sent.” (Acts 13:26)
We don’t talk enough about the Fear of the Lord. Even when we do talk about it, some will complain that we say too much.
We do need to talk about it, and we need to talk about it with understanding. Once you see the phrase in your regular reading, you’ll begin to see it everywhere. One of my favorite Psalms includes a discussion on Fear of the Lord. (Psalm 34)
There are 2 main categories of Fear.
Fear that Motivates us into action.
Fear that Hibernates (freezes us from action).
The Fear of the Lord that motivates is the right kind of fear. Fear that causes us to turn away from God and away from action is the wrong kind of fear.
To help us define the Fear of the Lord, let’s look at its appearing in Proverbs.
The FEAR of the LORD. (From Proverbs)
Pr 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Pr 1:29 For that they hated knowledge, and didnot choose the fear of the LORD:
Pr 2:4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; 5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
Pr 3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
Pr 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
Pr 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
Pr 10:27 The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.
Pr 14:2 He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.
Pr 14:26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.
Pr 14:27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
Pr 15:16 Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.
Pr 15:33 The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.
Pr 16:6 By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.
Pr 19:23 The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
Pr 22:4 By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life.
Pr 23:17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.
Pr 24:21 My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:
Pr 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
Pr 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
As you can see from this reading that the Fear of the Lord is much deeper than being afraid of Him, or afraid of His punishment. There’s a comfort found in the Fear of the Lord. There is a motivation into godly action.
The good FEAR is the fear which an obedient child has for a loving father; the attitude of respect or reverence. It prompts godly action that is pleasing to God. It brings assurance, comfort, confidence, and joy. It produces peace in our minds.
The wrong kind of FEAR is: The painful emotion marked by alarm, dread, or disquiet. It is anxious concern, fright, terror, timidity, and apprehension. It prompts cowardly actions. It produces confused and frantic minds. It results in sleepless, restless nights. It expresses itself in selfishness, thoughtlessness, and greed. It destroys inner unity and peace.
Jesus describes the two types of fear this way: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matt 10:28). In this context, there is a fear that is wrong; the fear of man. The fear of man prevents us from godly action.
God is able to destroy, but He is also able to save. He saved Noah because of his godly fear. “By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith” (Heb 11:7; Ge 6:13,22).
